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Produced by Toronto-based Marblemedia (of The Adrenaline Project fame), Splatalot! is a gigantic obstacle course for kids with a medieval theme to it. Built around similar concept as Wipeout, the gameplay of Splatalot! has the teenage contestants (rightly called the Attackers) conquer an elaborate obstacle course in three rounds of various strongholds, and defeat the guards of the castle, the Defenders, to be crowned the Queen or King of Splatalot!


The peril only just begins for the Attackers when they have to “Cross the Moat”! With no way out, the Defender’s Douse welcomes the challenging Attackers with a shock of icy water, enough to disorient them into falling off the subsequent Baffling Barrels or Mace Balls or Pungent Planks, providing a perfect tactic of primary defence. However, through sheer skill, speed or agility – also called luck – if Attackers are able to clear the Slippery Slope, the Mace Roll, the Impossible Incline, a steep ramp leading to the… well, moat, but also to the Callous Columns, followed by a hammock – I mean, the Rope Bridge of Disaster – they find themselves facing the Perilous Pole Vault which forms the final part of the moat-related hurdles. Yes, there still remain two sets of obstacle courses to conquer the castle.


The second round of hurdles is collectively called “Escape the Stockade”! While the carefully placed Wheel of Certain Doom furthers the disorientation of the Attackers, the Annihilating Arms completes the work by knocking off easily disoriented Attackers into the Ferocious Foam. Only the sturdy ones are meant to climb these arms to collect the Splatalot flag to be able to move on to the Lumbering Ladders and then on to the Pardoning Platform amidst the greatest amount of slime and goo that can be ever chucked at someone in the world! The first four Attackers on the Pardoning Platform are allowed to move on to the next phase of defence – “Capture the Crown”!


The rambunctious fortifications of the inner castle include the very highly slippery Pole Drop, the disorienting Funky Foam, the temperamental Titanic Teeter Totters leading up to the Barrier of all Barriers, the most formidable wall one has ever scaled. Now even closer to the crown, the final stage of aegis includes the Bouncy Buoys or the Leaping Lily Pads, which make it easier for the Defenders to knock off the Attackers. If one was to still survive the gushing water jets of the Defenders, they are sure to be run over by the rush of water from the Water Wall above which the Splatalot Crown lies. In the event of failure of all these obstacles, hurdles – and foam – the Attacker who successfully claims the crown is deemed the status of a Splatalot Royalty.


Armed with nine Defenders – Kookaburra (Kook), Crocness, Skabb, Tinkor, Ballista, Gildar, Knightriss, Thorne and Shaiden – and the three-stage bastion of treacherous impediments, the glorious castle of Splatalot revels in its stalwart aegis. For those few conquerors with great grit and resilience, the Crown of Splatalot awaits.

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